The "Other" Resolutions

People talk about resolutions for the New Year

And then see their determination swiftly disappear

So, here are some ideas that could mean a lot more

You can attain them much better than the ones before

 

  How about simply giving some more in the new year?

To those who suffer badly, in hardship and fear?

How about being more grateful for life as it is

Instead of always focusing on whatever’s amiss?

  How about more walking, not necessarily fast…

Just little strolls that will make your health last?

Or reading a book that’s different from your style?

Who knows! It may end up being worth your while!

  What about frequently telling people nice things…

So that you can witness the joy that this brings?

And what about being a bit more positive to YOU?

By ending that negative self-talk that makes you blue?

  And oh yes: you could also unplug now and then

Leave your electronics behind - regain your own zen?

You could stop seeing your life as overbearing

By simply deciding to stop comparing?

 You could motivate yourself at least once a day

And find how the pressure and stress fade away

How are these for some fun, easy plans for the New Year?

All the best to you and yours: may you be of good cheer!

 

The Gift of Every Moment

You are changing every moment. You may not notice it in the mirror, but it happens nonetheless. Something changes in your body as well as in your mind – all the time. You are exposed to many impressions: perhaps you read on the Internet or in books, write, see things on television, get exposed to experiences at your workplace and on the street, reflect, or get information from others. All of that is a learning process. It changes your insights. You may, however, only see a major physical and psychological change when you compare yourself to the person you were ten years ago. Yet, the change did not occur in one giant step: it happened through a miniscule change process from moment to moment.

You absorb impressions, lessons, and countless other influences on a continual basis, and through that, you integrate those influences within. They become a part of you. The sun penetrates into your skin and becomes a part of you. The raindrops that fall on you do the same. The wind that blows through your hair and the millions of natural and non-natural elements it contains: they also become a part of you – change you – re-create you.

Your food and clothing, your car and house, your bed and towel, they are prepared by so many people, who, thanks to their efforts, are a part of you now. You don’t know all those people, resources, and places, and they don’t know you, but that does not mean they are unimportant. The peanuts you just snacked on were planted by someone, after the soil in which they were planted, was prepared. The efforts of this person - or these persons - are now fused into you. The pickers, transporters, processors, materials that were appended in the process, and the numerous other people that contributed to getting the peanuts in your kitchen, cabinet, or table, live forth in you now.

If you study your hands, you may see the likeness with those of your mother. When you smile you may resemble your father. As long as you live this will be the case, even if they move on. Your children also carry parts of you in them. It is through them that you will live on when you pass on from this stage. Your family, colleagues and friends: they also carry parts of you, due to the connection that exists between you and them.

There are many people you care for, others you cannot stand, and yet others that you don’t have any particular opinions about. All of these people affect you, whether you like it or not. They all contributed into making you the person you are today and they will help reshape you into the person you will be tomorrow. You are always changing, and the person that is now reading this piece is not exactly the same person that will do something else in a few minutes.

In you, there are also influences from ancestors whose bodies have turned to dust a long time ago. They also live on through you. Both their benefactors and their offenders, who once influenced them, are vested in you. You may be proud or disenchanted by what they did, whether they were hard workers or sluggards, oppressors or oppressed, yet, they have contributed to the person you are today. All of this does not only pertain to you, of course. It pertains to everyone, no matter how trivial or far-fetched it may seem.

Next Monday, Suriname commemorates 150 years of formal abolition of slavery. I learned that a lot of celebrations are planned. Well, perhaps this is a moment worth celebrating. That depends on how you look at it. Some might consider it more appropriate to engage in reflection and gratitude for the blood, sweat, and tears of their ancestors, who probably came from everywhere. Regardless of what you choose: you are richer now, thanks to them: today more than yesterday; tomorrow more than today. Happy slavery abolition commemoration!

The gift of deciding what matters to us

I just finished reading a book that I had picked up at a recent conference. It is titled "I moved your cheese" and is written as a critical parody on the 1998 bestseller: "Who moved my cheese." Over the years, I have frequently mentioned that old bestseller in my presentations, lectures, and writings, because the message it provides is -in itself- strong enough: two mice and two little people who live in a maze and daily meet each other in cheese station C, where they obtain their cheese. On a bad day, however, the cheese has disappeared, and everybody is in disarray. Yet, the two mice don’t waste too much time: they quickly put on their running shoes, and set off into the maze in order to find new cheese.

The two little people do what most people do: for a few weeks they grumble about the injustice done to them, but in the end one of them suggests that they follow the example of the mice and also start looking for a new cheese source. The other doesn’t want to hear about this, because he feels that his rights have been violated, so he prefers to sit and wait until the cheese supply in station C is restored.

The little person that takes off to look for new cheese learns many lessons on his way to the uncertain future, but eventually discovers a new, bigger cheese station, where, lo and behold, he gets reunited with the two mice, who have settled in, but nevertheless keep their running shoes hanging around their necks in case of a new crisis.

Moral of the story: changes are continuous and unpredictable, and flexibility is the best way to respond to it.

In "I Moved Your Cheese" the author firmly criticizes the above story. While he agrees that life is full of surprises and that we must be flexible, he also feels that we shouldn’t take everything as a given, but should think critically about our situation and the changes we face. He comments that the first book fails to address the issue of who has actually moved the cheese.  Thus, he feels that the figures in that story promote a victimized mentality: someone took the cheese out of our mouth, and now we just look for other cheese -- no questions asked. The writer underscores that if we think this way, we will always remain the victims of "others".

In “I moved your cheese” the author introduces three mice, Max, Zed and Big, each of whom is exceptional in his own way. Max is incurably inquisitive and wants to know the "how" and "why" of everything. This is how he ultimately discovers that there is a world outside the maze, where people decide where the cheese gets moved to, so they can study the reactions of the mice. Once aware of this, Max begins to manipulate the logbooks of the people when they are asleep, and realizes that he now has the power to determine where the cheese will be placed on a daily basis.

Zed lives in the maze like all the other mice, but doesn’t care much about cheese. He eats just enough to stay afloat, and doesn’t allow his happiness to depend on abundance or scarcity of cheese. The other mice don’t understand him, because he is so stoic and detached in a way. When Max tells Zed about the world outside the maze and all the manipulations that go on with the cheese, Zed wisely responds: "the problem is not that the mouse in the maze, but that the maze in the mouse is: we all determine for ourselves what our shortcomings are".

Big, finally, becomes disturbed by the growing masses of mice around him and actively starts looking for a way out. Strong and athletic as he is, he begins to test the walls of the maze. One day he gathers all his physical and mental strength and runs straight through the thinnest wall, leaving a big hole in the maze for whoever wants to follow him, but determined for himself to never return to that restrictive maze.

Of course it depends on each of us to decide who we want to identify with: the mice of the second book, the mice and little people of the first book, or our own unique self, flexible and quick, but at the same time creative and critically thinking about what, in this life, is most important for us.

The gift of Good Karma

A good friend of mine - I call him my "brother" - has recently started a new project: "Project Good Karma." The first time he mentioned it to me I was a bit skeptical. Logical actually, if you reside in a heavily commercially grafted country as America and someone tells you that he plans to persuade affluent individuals to give 1% of their property to a charitable cause, preferably in their own area, so that they can instantly see the result of their good deed. Noble idea, for sure! But how many people would really seriously think about this? Well, as I gave it some deeper thought, I became increasingly convinced, just like my brother, that there are indeed plenty of people living on spaceship earth, who would like to do something good, but simply lack confidence in the many ads they see on television about sending donations to poor children in remote areas. It is, after all, equally well-known that from all these donations only a tiny part really benefit these needy children. The lion share of the donations is spent on salaries, travel and hotel costs and other expenses of the organization members: albeit for the purpose, yet not the way it was intended by the donors. Good Karma Project appeals to me because of its all-volunteer based structure, and its local focus. So, no support for remote projects of which you cannot find out whether they really materialize.

Karma is, in itself, not an unknown concept, but for those still wondering: it stems from Hinduism and Buddhism, and is literally translated as 'act', 'action' or 'deed'. It means that a good deed results in good consequences, and a bad deed in bad consequences. According to the Buddhist teachings greed, hatred and ignorance are the three main causes of evil deeds, while the opposite of these three phenomena, generosity, loving-kindness, and understanding, are the foundation for good deeds. According to this principle, one’s actions are more important than his or her faith. In other words, if you engage in good deeds, it does not matter what you believe. You can probably recall that warm feeling inside when you performed a good deed to someone who did not expect it. It is very much in line with the old adage: "A bit of fragrance sticks to the hand that gives flowers."

 So how does Project Good Karma work? Well, the basic goal is to get people interested in it by elevating their awareness. We all grumble about the inequality in the world and the unjust suffering of so many, but we often think it will carry too far to actually do something about it. That is actually just a smart way to appease our conscience, because we can perform good deeds all around us. The Good Karma Project is looking for volunteers who are interested to become Good Karma Ambassadors in their area. There is little time and no money required for this commitment: only good will and decisiveness. Good Karma Ambassadors will encourage others in their area who might also want to engage in this noble purpose. The Good Karma group in a particular neighborhood, city, or district, then determines who or what is in their environment needs help, brings this in the larger group, and together we look at how we can make a difference.No hidden agendas and nothing else to be gained than the realization that we’re doing something good for our fellow beings.

Participating in the Good Karma Project also means that you help other people around you aware of needs that they can help alleviate. And the more we mitigate needs, the more confidence we gain in our own abilities. If we can create small groups that work on raising awareness and improving local situations in different places on earth, we can extensively and collaboratively do something about the suffering of others. The Good Karma project is not tied to any organization, but consists entirely of volunteers. If you are on Facebook, you can read more about it in the group "Project Good Karma (PGK)." I think it's a wonderful idea and am certainly participating.How about you?

The gift of respect

About half a year ago a man made a comment that stunned me. It was right after the orals for my second doctorate - in the Netherlands. This professor from Belgium was a member of my examination Committee, and he said, "It's great to enlarge your consciousness about the whereabouts of all living creatures, but at the same time it must be very frustrating, because you become aware of so much suffering."

He hit the nail on the head: it ís a painful experience. I have shared my perspectives rather frequently with my reading audience in the last few years. I remember writing about my visit to Chicago,  a wonderful city, where tourists love to take a sightseeing ride in a beautifully painted carriage, towed by some horses. Unfortunately, there are few who are concerned about the suffering of these animals that are now forced to participate in the heavy downtown traffic with thousands of cars and motorcycles around them, and have to inhale poisonous exhaust fumes from close-by, minute after minute. Consequence: tears in Chicago for me. I also recall a visit to the LA zoo, where I realized, again in tears, that I would never again enter a zoo, particularly after seeing the miserable elephant in the hot sun and the gorilla that, in sheer misery, was pulling grass in his cage with his back towards the public. Watching television can be traumatic as well, because horses are abused in many Westerns without any concern for their wellbeing. And then there are the scenes of bears, tigers, or other wild animals, who have to suffer from training for many months before they are ready for the film shots, and then get trashed afterwards or, if they are lucky, land at the Wildlife Way Station, an ailing non-governmental organization, that tries heroically to offer a home to those who are now unfit for wildlife.

Of course the awareness reaches beyond just animals. About human suffering there’s so much to say that I don't even know where to start: the millions of undernourished, uneducated children, and their powerless mothers, while there are mammoth companies nearby, with stinking rich managers, insensitive to the gross inequalities that they deliberately maintain? Or senior citizens who, after a life of hard work for their families, land in senior homes where they are snubbed, and where their children and grandchildren sporadically pay a visit, because granny can't do much for them anymore? Or miserly doctors who have converted their vocation into pure business and only want to "serve" where they can rummage a lot of money? Many of these supposed medical caregivers are no longer interested in the cause of a problem, because it takes too much time and energy and it brings in relatively little money. Instead, they prefer to write out recipes for expensive drugs that smother the symptoms, and preferably cause side-effects, upon which they can write out some more recipes, thus maintaining their patients’ dependency.

Last week a dear family friend became the victim of such neglect: a prominent specialist neglected her problem, so now her young children are preparing for their first mother's day without a mother.

Having respect for all beings hurts and is often difficult too. After all, how do you respect those who have no respect for the well-being of others? That’s hard. It’s tragic too.