Thank You!

Dear Reader. Today I would like to thank you. First of all, because you are reading this text now. Whether you do this more often or today for the first time: I am honored. Even though I may not know you, and you may not write to respond to me, I am still grateful. You could read or do so many other things at the moment, but your eyes are gliding over these particular words, which I typed especially for you. It might be a hectic time for you, as it is for so many. I can empathize with that, because I have allowed many family Christmases to slip away in times when I was busy creating the Christmas spirit for others. Today I am not doing that anymore. I prefer instead to simply write here that I appreciate you. And this really has nothing to do with Christmas or the New Year, even though this is a great time to do it.

In December we think deeper on things. We don’t just spend more money to express our gratitude to others, but we also take a more thorough look at things that we might otherwise miss. Thoughts of loved ones who are no longer with us; relationships that derailed; family, friends or acquaintances that face troubles: our heart goes out to them more in this time than normal. And because we think deeper about the troubles of life, this is also an appropriate time to consider how we can help brighten the lives of others, as well as our own life.

How about the following: just call the first person that comes to mind, just to say something nice? You could, of course, also send an email, using very simple, but meaningful words such as: "I wanted to let you know that I thought of you," "I think you’re a great person, and wanted to tell you that today," "I want to thank you for your friendship," "I think you’re a go-getter and I am proud to know you," "I like your voice. It’s very nice to listen to," "You can always count on me," "I would love to help whenever possible," "you always make me laugh, and I am grateful for that!", "you still look very good!", "thank you that you are in my life!", "The world is a better place because you are in it," or simply, "I think you are a very special person."

There is no direct or even indirect reason to do this, but it may be the one thing the other person may need at the moment, more so than an expensive gift or a great party. We, humans, are sensitive creatures, even though we don’t always like to admit it. My heart goes out to all the people who struggle this month with suffering of any kind. Some may empower you, and others may criticize you, but only you know how it feels to be in the midst of this trouble. Perhaps the future looks bleak to you, but this valley also come to an end and the road up is near. It helps during such difficult moments to realize that practically everyone experiences troubles at some point, sometimes tougher and sometimes less distressing, but suffering, just like joy, is a part of life.

So, especially to those of you who try to stay afloat this month in the face of hardship I would like to say, "Thank you! Thank you for your courage. You're awesome for facing this squarely. Each problematic situation is on its way to a solution from the moment it manifests itself. Every day after the first clap of thunder is a step towards healing. Thank you for your perseverance and willpower. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for understanding that this is all a part of life. There will always be peaks and valleys. They have their reasons. Thank you for your strength." 

I wish you blessed holidays.

The gift of deciding what matters to us

I just finished reading a book that I had picked up at a recent conference. It is titled "I moved your cheese" and is written as a critical parody on the 1998 bestseller: "Who moved my cheese." Over the years, I have frequently mentioned that old bestseller in my presentations, lectures, and writings, because the message it provides is -in itself- strong enough: two mice and two little people who live in a maze and daily meet each other in cheese station C, where they obtain their cheese. On a bad day, however, the cheese has disappeared, and everybody is in disarray. Yet, the two mice don’t waste too much time: they quickly put on their running shoes, and set off into the maze in order to find new cheese.

The two little people do what most people do: for a few weeks they grumble about the injustice done to them, but in the end one of them suggests that they follow the example of the mice and also start looking for a new cheese source. The other doesn’t want to hear about this, because he feels that his rights have been violated, so he prefers to sit and wait until the cheese supply in station C is restored.

The little person that takes off to look for new cheese learns many lessons on his way to the uncertain future, but eventually discovers a new, bigger cheese station, where, lo and behold, he gets reunited with the two mice, who have settled in, but nevertheless keep their running shoes hanging around their necks in case of a new crisis.

Moral of the story: changes are continuous and unpredictable, and flexibility is the best way to respond to it.

In "I Moved Your Cheese" the author firmly criticizes the above story. While he agrees that life is full of surprises and that we must be flexible, he also feels that we shouldn’t take everything as a given, but should think critically about our situation and the changes we face. He comments that the first book fails to address the issue of who has actually moved the cheese.  Thus, he feels that the figures in that story promote a victimized mentality: someone took the cheese out of our mouth, and now we just look for other cheese -- no questions asked. The writer underscores that if we think this way, we will always remain the victims of "others".

In “I moved your cheese” the author introduces three mice, Max, Zed and Big, each of whom is exceptional in his own way. Max is incurably inquisitive and wants to know the "how" and "why" of everything. This is how he ultimately discovers that there is a world outside the maze, where people decide where the cheese gets moved to, so they can study the reactions of the mice. Once aware of this, Max begins to manipulate the logbooks of the people when they are asleep, and realizes that he now has the power to determine where the cheese will be placed on a daily basis.

Zed lives in the maze like all the other mice, but doesn’t care much about cheese. He eats just enough to stay afloat, and doesn’t allow his happiness to depend on abundance or scarcity of cheese. The other mice don’t understand him, because he is so stoic and detached in a way. When Max tells Zed about the world outside the maze and all the manipulations that go on with the cheese, Zed wisely responds: "the problem is not that the mouse in the maze, but that the maze in the mouse is: we all determine for ourselves what our shortcomings are".

Big, finally, becomes disturbed by the growing masses of mice around him and actively starts looking for a way out. Strong and athletic as he is, he begins to test the walls of the maze. One day he gathers all his physical and mental strength and runs straight through the thinnest wall, leaving a big hole in the maze for whoever wants to follow him, but determined for himself to never return to that restrictive maze.

Of course it depends on each of us to decide who we want to identify with: the mice of the second book, the mice and little people of the first book, or our own unique self, flexible and quick, but at the same time creative and critically thinking about what, in this life, is most important for us.