The gift of choosing the moral path

In reading some online newspapers last week, a number of disturbing facts caught my eye: a district administrator was arrested on suspicion of accepting gifts for special services that never materialized; a school principal was accused of attempted manipulation of school success rates, with a sizeable amount of money involved; a minister of Social Affairs acted as Santa Claus by granting gifts to social institutions on his birthday (not from his own wallet, but from his formal representation budget) to boost his popularity; governmental institutions are scrutinized on suspicion of corruptive actions, and a sizable part of society distrusts its political representatives and government as well as government subsidized entities.  

Corruption is a social disease that is easy to lapse into. The reason for that is also easy to see through: if everyone does it, it does not feel so corrupt anymore. Corruption particularly manifests itself in trade and politics, and with that, it has almost grown into a rule rather than an exception in many governmental branches throughout the world. There is a wide range of motives leading to corruptive actions, from safeguarding of power and influence to bypassing unwelcome rules and regulations, and from accelerating processes to paving a fast road toward affluence or power.

The common factor driving business and politics is their heavy transactional orientation. In the simplest possible wording it boils down to this: I'll give you this if you give me that. And then you may go ahead and substitute any situation you wish: “I give you the title on this piece of land if you ensure a nice sum of greasing money under the table,” “I will get you a meeting with the big boss if you want to pay the price to be moved up,” “I will speed up the processing of your documents if you speed up my wealth”, or “I will refrain from punishing you for your actions and look the other way if you want to look into my bank account”.

As you can tell, corruption usually appears in the form of a reward or punishment avoidance, but there is always a gift involved, mostly in the form of money, power, or prestige. Whatever it is that drives people to corruption, the phenomenon remains one of the weak links in our civilization, and it is hard to imagine a human society that is void of it.  That, too, is understandable: where different people come together, you will find different characters and motivations, as well as different levels of ethical reasoning. And it is a fact that you can alert people about ethics, but you cannot really teach them moral values, because moral values are strongly linked to the culture and structure of the society in which we live and perform.

No society on earth is free from corruption, but in some it is just more obvious than others. It often coincides with local economies and existing inequalities. When large groups of people feel oppressed due to economic struggles, and when leaders are continuously engaging in unethical practices, corruption will find a fertile ground.

It’s true, there are quite some weak spots in human civilization, and corruption is one of the most striking examples. And you know what? Chances are that each of us has engaged in corruptive behavior at least once, albeit more out of necessity than desire. Unfortunately, there is no rosy endnote here, other than that each of us should think critically about our conduct, and evaluate whether the steps we are about to take will be worth disrupting our emotional stability. Once we have made up our mind, we should do as we decide, and accept the consequences. And that's all I have to say about that.

The gift of authenticity

“If you tell the truth, you won’t have to remember anything”

~Mark Twain

Mark Twain hit the nail on the head with many of his sayings, but he hit it extra right when he referred to always telling the truth. It is so simple to just be honest, and yet, so difficult. Why? I have been wondering about this over the years, and I came to the conclusion that the way we have been programmed from crib till adolescence lies at the foundation of this behavior. Being authentic – which also entails telling the truth – has almost become an extinct trait, because many of us have become too busy following trends that dictate us what to wear, say, drive, do, or eat, and –even more flagrantly- how to do it. We have landed in an era where it takes the greatest effort to remain ourselves, and forego all the temptations and challenges placed on our path. The biggest problem of being authentic is, namely, that you can get chastised. As Annie Leonard puts it in “The Story of Stuff”: we have become so over-programmed in thinking that everything about us is wrong, and that the only way we can correct this is to shop till we drop, that we actually believe it!

Not being authentic comes in numerous forms, but it mainly expresses itself in unnatural behavior. I can get so disheartened when I see people following trends without wondering if they are even remotely happy doing so, or if these trends are even good for them. The simplest example I can think of at the moment is fashion. I often see young women walking in shorts and jeans that may have looked sexy on the model promoting them, but look absolutely unattractive on them, because these outfits display their physical weaknesses in the most blatant ways. The saddest part of the story is that these women may have paid a lot of money for their mindless behavior, while they could have chosen something that would fit their posture much better, and maybe even set a new trend! But the fashion industry cannot be blamed – and neither can any other industry, media outlet, or social trend - because the choices are ultimately ours.  

Another reason why authenticity has become such an outlandish trait is because of the demands of our workplaces. Since transparency is not customary in our professional world, we are not allowed to be fully open to our co-workers, customers, suppliers, and other stakeholders. We may, after all, run the risk of sharing too much information, thus jeopardizing our job.

And then there is this factor of getting ahead. People who are still in stages where they depend on others to be helped to the next level have to be extra cautious with what they say and how they say it. They find themselves forced to be politically correct and consider what they say to whom, in order to avoid ruining their career advancement.

The above is just the tip of the authenticity-iceberg, but as you may already see, it makes for a pretty hypocrite human society. The truth of the matter is, that it becomes easier to be authentic when you are either independently wealthy, uncaring about others' feelings, fearless about your career progress, rebellious, or more mature, hence, more progressed in life.

One positive endnote that may reduce any sense of hopelessness within the reader of this piece: there are various ways in which you can be authentic without endangering your relationships or progress. In other words, you can focus on the negative and tell the truth in a hurtful way, or you can focus on the positive and find a tactful manner to present it. For example, if your teacher’s lectures are boring, you can either tell him that he bores you to tears, or come up with some positive suggestions to “make the class more interesting.”

In sum, being authentic is not always easy, but it can make life much more pleasant and rewarding. Authenticity requires courage and awareness of your own value as a person. You don’t have to be part of every fashion trend to matter. You don’t have to participate in every social habit that is “cool” at the moment. And if you have to live beyond your means to be accepted by your friends, it’s time to release them. Authenticity can be a tremendous emancipation – if you let it.

Joan Marques