The Gift of Humility

I make a deep bow to life today. Although this year has been more hectic for me that I had anticipated, I am grateful that I could be hectic, because things could have gone a different way. I could have had a stroke, heart attack, or accident that would have robbed me from my mental or physical abilities, disabling me from doing what I would like to do. But I’ve been spared in that regard. And although I regularly contribute my share of grumbling to the thick book of human lamentations, I am aware of this: it is good to have a full agenda, because it keeps me out of idleness, which is still the devil’s playground.

I make a deep bow to humanity today. Although I’m often embarrassed of our collective derailment and atrocities toward the less fortunate; our negligence to those who dwell and labor far from our bed; our disdain towards those we label as "less"; and our discrimination, physical and mental abuse of others as well as ourselves, I prefer to focus on the other side today. Human beings are smart and intelligent, and jointly we make giant steps to greater awareness. Thanks to our ever-expanding global social contact, we increasingly become aware of the many others on earth, and we rapidly learn to accept and acknowledge them as our brothers and sisters.

I make a deep bow to the earth today. Despite the fact that some people are convinced that our journey on earth is actually hell, I will not submit to that mindset today. Instead, I prefer to think that we all help create our own destiny. We make choices even though we may not be able to predict the final results. Nonetheless, they are our choices. The Earth has little to do with it: it only accommodates the direction we determine. If, therefore, we choose to follow the path of doom and gloom, it paves our way toward that. Yet, if we choose the path of compassion and servitude, it does the same. The earth facilitates and accommodates, in the broadest sense of the word. It is fertile and rich, and serves us without resentment. If we want to over-exploit and deplete it, it will wither and become impoverished: but that, too, is a facilitation of our actions.

I make a deep bow to myself today. Although I've made an equal number of smart and stupid decisions, I have managed to keep myself afloat in the sea of human existence. I believe that indicates that I must be strong and resilient. I could have easily gone mad from my setbacks, or embittered from my disappointments; arrogant because of my victories, or mean-spirited due to my human blindness, but I did not do so. I have chosen a fairly respectable existence: one of servitude. And even though I regularly get frustrated by the shortsightedness that both others as myself regularly display, I prefer to focus on the constructive side today. I’m alive, and today I decide to see that as a blessing. Tomorrow I may be annoyed again and nit-pick on everything that is wrong, but not today.

I make a deep bow to you, my blog reader today. You could have decided to ignore this piece and read something else, but that you did not. You decided to read up to here and I think that is a great honor. Thank you for that. It is a tremendous reward to my effort. Now I hope that you also want to make some deep bows. To whom or what? I gladly leave that up to you!

The gift of authenticity

“If you tell the truth, you won’t have to remember anything”

~Mark Twain

Mark Twain hit the nail on the head with many of his sayings, but he hit it extra right when he referred to always telling the truth. It is so simple to just be honest, and yet, so difficult. Why? I have been wondering about this over the years, and I came to the conclusion that the way we have been programmed from crib till adolescence lies at the foundation of this behavior. Being authentic – which also entails telling the truth – has almost become an extinct trait, because many of us have become too busy following trends that dictate us what to wear, say, drive, do, or eat, and –even more flagrantly- how to do it. We have landed in an era where it takes the greatest effort to remain ourselves, and forego all the temptations and challenges placed on our path. The biggest problem of being authentic is, namely, that you can get chastised. As Annie Leonard puts it in “The Story of Stuff”: we have become so over-programmed in thinking that everything about us is wrong, and that the only way we can correct this is to shop till we drop, that we actually believe it!

Not being authentic comes in numerous forms, but it mainly expresses itself in unnatural behavior. I can get so disheartened when I see people following trends without wondering if they are even remotely happy doing so, or if these trends are even good for them. The simplest example I can think of at the moment is fashion. I often see young women walking in shorts and jeans that may have looked sexy on the model promoting them, but look absolutely unattractive on them, because these outfits display their physical weaknesses in the most blatant ways. The saddest part of the story is that these women may have paid a lot of money for their mindless behavior, while they could have chosen something that would fit their posture much better, and maybe even set a new trend! But the fashion industry cannot be blamed – and neither can any other industry, media outlet, or social trend - because the choices are ultimately ours.  

Another reason why authenticity has become such an outlandish trait is because of the demands of our workplaces. Since transparency is not customary in our professional world, we are not allowed to be fully open to our co-workers, customers, suppliers, and other stakeholders. We may, after all, run the risk of sharing too much information, thus jeopardizing our job.

And then there is this factor of getting ahead. People who are still in stages where they depend on others to be helped to the next level have to be extra cautious with what they say and how they say it. They find themselves forced to be politically correct and consider what they say to whom, in order to avoid ruining their career advancement.

The above is just the tip of the authenticity-iceberg, but as you may already see, it makes for a pretty hypocrite human society. The truth of the matter is, that it becomes easier to be authentic when you are either independently wealthy, uncaring about others' feelings, fearless about your career progress, rebellious, or more mature, hence, more progressed in life.

One positive endnote that may reduce any sense of hopelessness within the reader of this piece: there are various ways in which you can be authentic without endangering your relationships or progress. In other words, you can focus on the negative and tell the truth in a hurtful way, or you can focus on the positive and find a tactful manner to present it. For example, if your teacher’s lectures are boring, you can either tell him that he bores you to tears, or come up with some positive suggestions to “make the class more interesting.”

In sum, being authentic is not always easy, but it can make life much more pleasant and rewarding. Authenticity requires courage and awareness of your own value as a person. You don’t have to be part of every fashion trend to matter. You don’t have to participate in every social habit that is “cool” at the moment. And if you have to live beyond your means to be accepted by your friends, it’s time to release them. Authenticity can be a tremendous emancipation – if you let it.

Joan Marques