Thank You!

Dear Reader. Today I would like to thank you. First of all, because you are reading this text now. Whether you do this more often or today for the first time: I am honored. Even though I may not know you, and you may not write to respond to me, I am still grateful. You could read or do so many other things at the moment, but your eyes are gliding over these particular words, which I typed especially for you. It might be a hectic time for you, as it is for so many. I can empathize with that, because I have allowed many family Christmases to slip away in times when I was busy creating the Christmas spirit for others. Today I am not doing that anymore. I prefer instead to simply write here that I appreciate you. And this really has nothing to do with Christmas or the New Year, even though this is a great time to do it.

In December we think deeper on things. We don’t just spend more money to express our gratitude to others, but we also take a more thorough look at things that we might otherwise miss. Thoughts of loved ones who are no longer with us; relationships that derailed; family, friends or acquaintances that face troubles: our heart goes out to them more in this time than normal. And because we think deeper about the troubles of life, this is also an appropriate time to consider how we can help brighten the lives of others, as well as our own life.

How about the following: just call the first person that comes to mind, just to say something nice? You could, of course, also send an email, using very simple, but meaningful words such as: "I wanted to let you know that I thought of you," "I think you’re a great person, and wanted to tell you that today," "I want to thank you for your friendship," "I think you’re a go-getter and I am proud to know you," "I like your voice. It’s very nice to listen to," "You can always count on me," "I would love to help whenever possible," "you always make me laugh, and I am grateful for that!", "you still look very good!", "thank you that you are in my life!", "The world is a better place because you are in it," or simply, "I think you are a very special person."

There is no direct or even indirect reason to do this, but it may be the one thing the other person may need at the moment, more so than an expensive gift or a great party. We, humans, are sensitive creatures, even though we don’t always like to admit it. My heart goes out to all the people who struggle this month with suffering of any kind. Some may empower you, and others may criticize you, but only you know how it feels to be in the midst of this trouble. Perhaps the future looks bleak to you, but this valley also come to an end and the road up is near. It helps during such difficult moments to realize that practically everyone experiences troubles at some point, sometimes tougher and sometimes less distressing, but suffering, just like joy, is a part of life.

So, especially to those of you who try to stay afloat this month in the face of hardship I would like to say, "Thank you! Thank you for your courage. You're awesome for facing this squarely. Each problematic situation is on its way to a solution from the moment it manifests itself. Every day after the first clap of thunder is a step towards healing. Thank you for your perseverance and willpower. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for understanding that this is all a part of life. There will always be peaks and valleys. They have their reasons. Thank you for your strength." 

I wish you blessed holidays.

The Gift of Every Moment

You are changing every moment. You may not notice it in the mirror, but it happens nonetheless. Something changes in your body as well as in your mind – all the time. You are exposed to many impressions: perhaps you read on the Internet or in books, write, see things on television, get exposed to experiences at your workplace and on the street, reflect, or get information from others. All of that is a learning process. It changes your insights. You may, however, only see a major physical and psychological change when you compare yourself to the person you were ten years ago. Yet, the change did not occur in one giant step: it happened through a miniscule change process from moment to moment.

You absorb impressions, lessons, and countless other influences on a continual basis, and through that, you integrate those influences within. They become a part of you. The sun penetrates into your skin and becomes a part of you. The raindrops that fall on you do the same. The wind that blows through your hair and the millions of natural and non-natural elements it contains: they also become a part of you – change you – re-create you.

Your food and clothing, your car and house, your bed and towel, they are prepared by so many people, who, thanks to their efforts, are a part of you now. You don’t know all those people, resources, and places, and they don’t know you, but that does not mean they are unimportant. The peanuts you just snacked on were planted by someone, after the soil in which they were planted, was prepared. The efforts of this person - or these persons - are now fused into you. The pickers, transporters, processors, materials that were appended in the process, and the numerous other people that contributed to getting the peanuts in your kitchen, cabinet, or table, live forth in you now.

If you study your hands, you may see the likeness with those of your mother. When you smile you may resemble your father. As long as you live this will be the case, even if they move on. Your children also carry parts of you in them. It is through them that you will live on when you pass on from this stage. Your family, colleagues and friends: they also carry parts of you, due to the connection that exists between you and them.

There are many people you care for, others you cannot stand, and yet others that you don’t have any particular opinions about. All of these people affect you, whether you like it or not. They all contributed into making you the person you are today and they will help reshape you into the person you will be tomorrow. You are always changing, and the person that is now reading this piece is not exactly the same person that will do something else in a few minutes.

In you, there are also influences from ancestors whose bodies have turned to dust a long time ago. They also live on through you. Both their benefactors and their offenders, who once influenced them, are vested in you. You may be proud or disenchanted by what they did, whether they were hard workers or sluggards, oppressors or oppressed, yet, they have contributed to the person you are today. All of this does not only pertain to you, of course. It pertains to everyone, no matter how trivial or far-fetched it may seem.

Next Monday, Suriname commemorates 150 years of formal abolition of slavery. I learned that a lot of celebrations are planned. Well, perhaps this is a moment worth celebrating. That depends on how you look at it. Some might consider it more appropriate to engage in reflection and gratitude for the blood, sweat, and tears of their ancestors, who probably came from everywhere. Regardless of what you choose: you are richer now, thanks to them: today more than yesterday; tomorrow more than today. Happy slavery abolition commemoration!

The Gift of Humility

I make a deep bow to life today. Although this year has been more hectic for me that I had anticipated, I am grateful that I could be hectic, because things could have gone a different way. I could have had a stroke, heart attack, or accident that would have robbed me from my mental or physical abilities, disabling me from doing what I would like to do. But I’ve been spared in that regard. And although I regularly contribute my share of grumbling to the thick book of human lamentations, I am aware of this: it is good to have a full agenda, because it keeps me out of idleness, which is still the devil’s playground.

I make a deep bow to humanity today. Although I’m often embarrassed of our collective derailment and atrocities toward the less fortunate; our negligence to those who dwell and labor far from our bed; our disdain towards those we label as "less"; and our discrimination, physical and mental abuse of others as well as ourselves, I prefer to focus on the other side today. Human beings are smart and intelligent, and jointly we make giant steps to greater awareness. Thanks to our ever-expanding global social contact, we increasingly become aware of the many others on earth, and we rapidly learn to accept and acknowledge them as our brothers and sisters.

I make a deep bow to the earth today. Despite the fact that some people are convinced that our journey on earth is actually hell, I will not submit to that mindset today. Instead, I prefer to think that we all help create our own destiny. We make choices even though we may not be able to predict the final results. Nonetheless, they are our choices. The Earth has little to do with it: it only accommodates the direction we determine. If, therefore, we choose to follow the path of doom and gloom, it paves our way toward that. Yet, if we choose the path of compassion and servitude, it does the same. The earth facilitates and accommodates, in the broadest sense of the word. It is fertile and rich, and serves us without resentment. If we want to over-exploit and deplete it, it will wither and become impoverished: but that, too, is a facilitation of our actions.

I make a deep bow to myself today. Although I've made an equal number of smart and stupid decisions, I have managed to keep myself afloat in the sea of human existence. I believe that indicates that I must be strong and resilient. I could have easily gone mad from my setbacks, or embittered from my disappointments; arrogant because of my victories, or mean-spirited due to my human blindness, but I did not do so. I have chosen a fairly respectable existence: one of servitude. And even though I regularly get frustrated by the shortsightedness that both others as myself regularly display, I prefer to focus on the constructive side today. I’m alive, and today I decide to see that as a blessing. Tomorrow I may be annoyed again and nit-pick on everything that is wrong, but not today.

I make a deep bow to you, my blog reader today. You could have decided to ignore this piece and read something else, but that you did not. You decided to read up to here and I think that is a great honor. Thank you for that. It is a tremendous reward to my effort. Now I hope that you also want to make some deep bows. To whom or what? I gladly leave that up to you!

The gift of Good Karma

A good friend of mine - I call him my "brother" - has recently started a new project: "Project Good Karma." The first time he mentioned it to me I was a bit skeptical. Logical actually, if you reside in a heavily commercially grafted country as America and someone tells you that he plans to persuade affluent individuals to give 1% of their property to a charitable cause, preferably in their own area, so that they can instantly see the result of their good deed. Noble idea, for sure! But how many people would really seriously think about this? Well, as I gave it some deeper thought, I became increasingly convinced, just like my brother, that there are indeed plenty of people living on spaceship earth, who would like to do something good, but simply lack confidence in the many ads they see on television about sending donations to poor children in remote areas. It is, after all, equally well-known that from all these donations only a tiny part really benefit these needy children. The lion share of the donations is spent on salaries, travel and hotel costs and other expenses of the organization members: albeit for the purpose, yet not the way it was intended by the donors. Good Karma Project appeals to me because of its all-volunteer based structure, and its local focus. So, no support for remote projects of which you cannot find out whether they really materialize.

Karma is, in itself, not an unknown concept, but for those still wondering: it stems from Hinduism and Buddhism, and is literally translated as 'act', 'action' or 'deed'. It means that a good deed results in good consequences, and a bad deed in bad consequences. According to the Buddhist teachings greed, hatred and ignorance are the three main causes of evil deeds, while the opposite of these three phenomena, generosity, loving-kindness, and understanding, are the foundation for good deeds. According to this principle, one’s actions are more important than his or her faith. In other words, if you engage in good deeds, it does not matter what you believe. You can probably recall that warm feeling inside when you performed a good deed to someone who did not expect it. It is very much in line with the old adage: "A bit of fragrance sticks to the hand that gives flowers."

 So how does Project Good Karma work? Well, the basic goal is to get people interested in it by elevating their awareness. We all grumble about the inequality in the world and the unjust suffering of so many, but we often think it will carry too far to actually do something about it. That is actually just a smart way to appease our conscience, because we can perform good deeds all around us. The Good Karma Project is looking for volunteers who are interested to become Good Karma Ambassadors in their area. There is little time and no money required for this commitment: only good will and decisiveness. Good Karma Ambassadors will encourage others in their area who might also want to engage in this noble purpose. The Good Karma group in a particular neighborhood, city, or district, then determines who or what is in their environment needs help, brings this in the larger group, and together we look at how we can make a difference.No hidden agendas and nothing else to be gained than the realization that we’re doing something good for our fellow beings.

Participating in the Good Karma Project also means that you help other people around you aware of needs that they can help alleviate. And the more we mitigate needs, the more confidence we gain in our own abilities. If we can create small groups that work on raising awareness and improving local situations in different places on earth, we can extensively and collaboratively do something about the suffering of others. The Good Karma project is not tied to any organization, but consists entirely of volunteers. If you are on Facebook, you can read more about it in the group "Project Good Karma (PGK)." I think it's a wonderful idea and am certainly participating.How about you?

The gift of authenticity

“If you tell the truth, you won’t have to remember anything”

~Mark Twain

Mark Twain hit the nail on the head with many of his sayings, but he hit it extra right when he referred to always telling the truth. It is so simple to just be honest, and yet, so difficult. Why? I have been wondering about this over the years, and I came to the conclusion that the way we have been programmed from crib till adolescence lies at the foundation of this behavior. Being authentic – which also entails telling the truth – has almost become an extinct trait, because many of us have become too busy following trends that dictate us what to wear, say, drive, do, or eat, and –even more flagrantly- how to do it. We have landed in an era where it takes the greatest effort to remain ourselves, and forego all the temptations and challenges placed on our path. The biggest problem of being authentic is, namely, that you can get chastised. As Annie Leonard puts it in “The Story of Stuff”: we have become so over-programmed in thinking that everything about us is wrong, and that the only way we can correct this is to shop till we drop, that we actually believe it!

Not being authentic comes in numerous forms, but it mainly expresses itself in unnatural behavior. I can get so disheartened when I see people following trends without wondering if they are even remotely happy doing so, or if these trends are even good for them. The simplest example I can think of at the moment is fashion. I often see young women walking in shorts and jeans that may have looked sexy on the model promoting them, but look absolutely unattractive on them, because these outfits display their physical weaknesses in the most blatant ways. The saddest part of the story is that these women may have paid a lot of money for their mindless behavior, while they could have chosen something that would fit their posture much better, and maybe even set a new trend! But the fashion industry cannot be blamed – and neither can any other industry, media outlet, or social trend - because the choices are ultimately ours.  

Another reason why authenticity has become such an outlandish trait is because of the demands of our workplaces. Since transparency is not customary in our professional world, we are not allowed to be fully open to our co-workers, customers, suppliers, and other stakeholders. We may, after all, run the risk of sharing too much information, thus jeopardizing our job.

And then there is this factor of getting ahead. People who are still in stages where they depend on others to be helped to the next level have to be extra cautious with what they say and how they say it. They find themselves forced to be politically correct and consider what they say to whom, in order to avoid ruining their career advancement.

The above is just the tip of the authenticity-iceberg, but as you may already see, it makes for a pretty hypocrite human society. The truth of the matter is, that it becomes easier to be authentic when you are either independently wealthy, uncaring about others' feelings, fearless about your career progress, rebellious, or more mature, hence, more progressed in life.

One positive endnote that may reduce any sense of hopelessness within the reader of this piece: there are various ways in which you can be authentic without endangering your relationships or progress. In other words, you can focus on the negative and tell the truth in a hurtful way, or you can focus on the positive and find a tactful manner to present it. For example, if your teacher’s lectures are boring, you can either tell him that he bores you to tears, or come up with some positive suggestions to “make the class more interesting.”

In sum, being authentic is not always easy, but it can make life much more pleasant and rewarding. Authenticity requires courage and awareness of your own value as a person. You don’t have to be part of every fashion trend to matter. You don’t have to participate in every social habit that is “cool” at the moment. And if you have to live beyond your means to be accepted by your friends, it’s time to release them. Authenticity can be a tremendous emancipation – if you let it.

Joan Marques